Happy Valentine’s Day!

Is your kid crazy about candy?

I’m not sure about you, but my kids started Valentine’s parties last week, so we’re in full swing with candy around here. The abundance of sweets can make this week feel more tricky to navigate in terms of food and specifically sugar.

I get asked about sweets A LOT! It’s probably the number one concern parents have overall in terms of feeding their kiddos. So I’m here to give you some tips! (And if you haven’t downloaded them yet, grab my 2 FREE guides on sugar for more info!)

Do you wonder…

  • When I offer candy, should I let them have as much as they want?
  • Should I only let them have one piece a day?
  • Should I only give them one serving at a meal?
  • Do I give them candy only if they eat their dinner?
  • If I let them have as much as they want, won’t they only eat candy and nothing else?

Or are you just unsure and confused about candy but know that you want your child to have a healthy relationship with it?

When I was a kid, I don’t remember ever having sweets restricted when we received them for holidays and events. And I hear from many parents that they do the same and it’s not a big deal in their home.

However, for many parents, the thought of full access to these “treats” is a hard pill to swallow.

It feels like… they’ll be out of control. They’ll eat their whole stash at once. They won’t eat other food. They might get sick…

And I get it. If you’ve been tightly monitoring sweets and/or fear your kiddo’s sweet tooth, giving unlimited access would be really overwhelming.

However, there is a middle ground. We can take the energy away from sweets by offering them regularly and talking about them positively, while still maintaining some structure.

One of my favorite tips is to start the answer to a request with Yes. It doesn’t have to be, Yes, right now! Or a Yes, you can have whatever you want whenever you want.

Just look for opportunities and ways to say Yes when it’s appropriate. Sometimes we get so annoyed with all of the questions, and begging for candy, we just shout out NO. And to our kids, all they hear is a Big NO and –> I’m never going to get candy again!

Even when NOT saying yes in the moment, try saying….

  • Yes, pick out your piece of candy and I will keep it safe for the next time we have candy.
  • Yes, let’s pick out a piece to have with dinner.
  • Yes, you can have your candy tomorrow at lunch.

You still can choose the When (now, tomorrow, soon, later, etc), but it’s about the language we use to create a positive and healthy relationship with sugar, and all food in general.

And in terms of the real specifics, the most important part is that you’re staying positive and offering candy or sweets regularly and without judgment or energy.

When I offer candy, should I let them have as much as they want?
Should I only give them one serving at a meal?

When you offer candy consider these two options:

  1. When you’re giving your child a green light, allow them to have as much as they want at that moment. OR…
  2. Offer one or two pieces with a meal/snack and when it’s gone you remind them they will get more again soon. If you take this approach, be sure to also provide opportunities for them to self-regulate, such as at another snack during the week. (This option might feel more comfortable for you as a parent if you’re easing into this philosophy.)

Do I give them candy only if they eat their dinner?
Always offer candy and dessert items WITH a meal, not after. We want to neutralize the energy around them so they don’t seem overly special or restrictive.

Should I only let them have one piece a day?
It’s ok for some days to have more candy or sugar in general and others less. There is not a hard and fast rule for the best amount. Focusing on an arbitrary number instead of the day to day variables will feel more restrictive. And children tend to balance out their intake over time when given a variety of food and the opportunity to do so.

If I let them have as much as they want, won’t they only eat candy and nothing else?
And yes, once you do start to adopt this approach, they may eat more candy at first and less of their other food. However, with time and a commitment to this process, the energy will subside and the novelty will wear off. Your kid will eventually be less crazy about candy.

Finding ways to say yes helps children feel more in control, fosters a more connected relationship with you, makes the times you say no more powerful and important, and lessens the need and desire to sneak or lie about food.

I know it can be hard to trust, so please join our free facebook community, Joyful Eating for Your Family, to get additional support and hear from other parents who are on the same journey.

Thank you for joining me and letting me be a part of your journey in creating joyful eating for your family. I look forward to connecting with you soon!