Have you ever allowed your child to eat ice cream for dinner?
At my son’s 7th birthday party a few weeks ago, he skipped dinner, saying he wasn’t hungry (read: too busy to stop and play), and instead ate 3 bowls of ice cream with toppings for dessert.
So that night, by the time dessert came around, he was super hungry. He needed something to fill up on. He needed more than one bowl of ice cream.
You might think this sounds extreme, or like horrible parenting, to allow him to eat 3 bowls of ice cream for dinner.
I get it. I might have thought that at one point too. But over the past 12 years, having worked with numerous families and individuals struggling with eating disorders, and having my own children, I have a different view.
I see that a more relaxed approach to food (with structure) actually creates a healthier relationship to food, and in turn, a more well-rounded diet.
I offered him dinner again but he didn’t want it. And ice cream was out and available. He ate it until he was satisfied and we all moved on. There were NO issues. He played some more, felt fine, and went to bed later. Nothing about it was a fail.
We’ve also had moments when he’s eaten candy and gotten a tummy ache. Those aren’t fails either. They’re just experiences to learn from. He remembers those moments and thinks about them when deciding how much to eat. the next time.
And you might be thinking, but I don’t want my kid to eat 3 bowls of ice cream!
I totally get it! It might not be ideal. I know they get more nutrition out of a full meal with multiple food groups, including fruits and vegetables. And you probably want to see them learn to love those meals too. I want that too! And when we can view these moments, where they eat more of something like ice cream, as just one single experience, we generally see them balance out their intake with things like fruits and vegetables.
The next day, on his actual birthday, we had ice cream again. He ate his dinner this time, then for dessert, he took about two bites of ice cream and went off to play. It melted into soup and was thrown away without another thought.
When we allow these moments to just be experiences, without judgment (for us and our kids), they even themselves out and allow for a healthy and intuitive relationship with food.
The judgment and fear around them is what creates the energy and unhealthy relationship with foods.
And if you need more support navigating these situations, I created this free guide, SUGAR SCENARIOS. It provides Practical Responses (what to say AND what to do) to Your Most Common Situations with Your Sweet Tooth Kid!
Leave A Comment