How much should my child be eating?

Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of questions about portion sizes for children. Parents are concerned their child is eating too much or too little. This is understandable because physicians, government agencies, and packages tell you how much you should eat. Therefore, it’s normal to look to external sources for the answer.

In answer to your question, How much should my child be eating?

–> As much as they choose to eat.

Now, before you run off, let me explain what I mean and give you some practical guidelines.

I know this is hard to trust, but there really is no exact right portion size for anyone to follow. Sometimes it may seem as though your child is surviving on air and eating less than a bird. Other times, or other children, may eat twice as much as you.⁠
The amount any person needs to eat varies all the time. This is true for adults and kids. Portions and needs change based on growth spurts, activity levels, hormones, and previous intake.
Therefore, as parents or caregivers, your job is not to dictate their portion size. Requiring your child to eat two bites of veggies, finish their plate, or stop eating after one serving is dictating their portion.
Instead, your job is to provide food and allow them to eat as much as they want based on their own body signals and food desires.

Sometimes they go through phases that last for weeks or months and other times their intake varies greatly from meal to meal.⁠ ⁠

  • your child may eat very little for a few months and then go through a growth spurt and eat full meals every day.⁠ ⁠
  • they might eat only a few bites of food one day and the next day seem insatiable, eating multiple meals and snacks.⁠

⁠This may be far from what you imagine is right for them.⁠ ⁠

But it’s not your job, or anyone else’s, to decide how much they need to eat. It’s your child’s job.

If you’re concerned, try keeping a food journal for at least one week.

See if you notice any patterns. You might be surprised they’re actually eating closer to the amount that’s recommended.

  • 4 pieces of fruit in one day and zero the next
  • one day full of carbs and low on protein, the next day lots of cheese at one snack, and the next eggs at breakfast
  • a full breakfast every day but then meals taper off as the day progresses

It doesn’t always look balanced at first glance, but sometimes it is.

However, if you record their intake, and notice some patterns that seem out of balance, you might assess:

  • Am I offering the foods they are low in consistently?
  • Am I getting them involved in cooking or shopping?
  • Have I stopped giving them certain foods because I think they’ll never eat them?
  • Am in the trap of only serving foods I believe they’ll eat?
  • Are meal and snack times enjoyable or filled with stress?
  • Am I making the food choices or do they have free reign?
  • Are they snacking all day but not eating meals?
  • Are there foods they’re eating more of that I call “bad” or try to restrict?

how much should my child be eating

Yes, there are guidelines based on age, and they might serve as a general idea or starting point, but they will rarely play out in real life.

The best thing you can do is provide food and let your child decide how much to eat.

Again, I can’t stress this enough, recommended portion sizes may be a good place to start for approximate amounts to make, but know that your child may eat more or less.

If these portions are not what your child is eating, it’s ok! They are only a ballpark idea and not a rule of thumb.

If it feels like your child is consistently eating more than the portions listed, remember that some children have bigger appetites or go through growth spurts. These are simply suggested portions and cannot possibly be a fit for every child.

However, if things feel out of balance you might also assess, are they:

  • feeling restricted with food in general so they try to eat as much as possible when food is available?
  • being given the opportunity to eat as much as they want and experience the consequences?
  • eating consistently throughout the day or getting overly hungry before the next meal or snack?
  • going through any other emotional struggles?

Trusting our children to eat what they need can be incredibly hard as parents. It requires a lot of introspection, curiosity, and trust.

Know that children are natural intuitive eaters and try to stay the course. Nurturing this innate ability and trust in themselves is one of the best gifts you can give them.

For more on helping your child eat the amount that’s right for them, grab my online workshop: